Idris Elba reveals the story behind the name of his production company ‘Green Door’ [x]

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Stefano Pilati Talks About Leaving YSL for the First Time

Stefano Pilati took the stage last night at the French Institute Alliance Française in front of a crowd that included Joseph Altuzarra, Iris Apfel, and Derek Blasberg. FIAF’s selection of the designer for its Fashion Talks series was either strategic or serendipitous, since Pilati stepped down as creative director of Yves Saint Laurent exactly four weeks ago. Glenda Bailey, editor-in-chief of Harper’s Bazaar introduced him using his own words: “Stefano once said, ‘You can find greatness everywhere, you just have to look.’ Well, here’s looking at you, Stefano. We can’t wait to see where your journey takes you next.” Presumably, many people came to the event to find out where that might be — one audience member even asked Pilati to hire her when he starts his own line, assuming he will — and while that question remains unanswered, Pilati offered up plenty of entertaining responses to moderator Pamela Golbin’s questions. See what he had to say about his current state of mind, working at YSL while Yves was still around, and dealing with the press’s oftentimes unrelenting criticism.

On his current state of mind: Absolutely great. I’m really good, I’m really happy. I didn’t think it would be possible to feel happy under this kind of circumstance … I’m here and all these people are interested in listening to me — what more do you want? 

On working with Tom Ford at YSL: Let’s not go there. Challenging is not the right word. It was traumatic! It was tragical. No, no, it was great, of course, it was great. You know what, Tom has such a self-confidence that you can really absorb it — he has enough for everyone around him, and I definitely got it. I was like, yeah, give it to me! I question every single moment of my life — about myself, what I do, what I say, what I didn’t say, if my idea is good or not good, you know. So imagine, somebody who actually brings me there and gives me a lot of responsibility. It was an amazing relationship.

On working for YSL while Yves Saint Laurent (the man) was still living: Oh yeah, I forgot about him! … It was pretty complicated, I have to say … In 2008, when he passed away, a lot of people started to ask me, ‘Do you feel that something has changed or is gonna change now that he’s not alive anymore?’ And firstly I said no, you know I’ve always tried to do my best, but in fact, it [had] changed. I could really feel it. The fact that his physical presence wasn’t there anymore, in a way, gave me a sense of freedom.

On not taking fashion too seriously: You know, we can live without fashion. We can live very well without fashion. If you like fashion and you embrace fashion and you want to wear fashion, well, good for you. In the sense that, it’s a good gesture to yourself, and it’s a good [image] to project … There’s a lot of politics involved, a lot of diplomacy involved — it’s like, who are we saving here?

On his greatest achievement at YSL: [When] Tom left, the company was not in good shape; actually, it had a lot of losses. And the aim was to have the house profitable … so, I focused on that, I put aside my ego, I put aside my freedom, and I work hard to also respond to what the market was asking for … I started to do [accessories], and it was successful, but also I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the design aspect … I was in the learning process. I think what happened between 2004 and 2012 is that there were an amazing eight years of a learning process. The house [has been] profitable since 2008, and I don’t feel like I sacrificed [any]thing.

On his lowest point at YSL: No low point. It would be blasphemy to say there’s a low point. I live an amazing life in Paris, I’ve been loved by many colleagues and collaborators. I have the chance to work in fashion — to be in fashion is a privileged place.

On criticism from the press: I think it’s normal. I think it’s the way it has to go. I mean, to be controversial makes people think. That’s important … At least controversy makes people stop and have a few questions. It’s not synonymous with mediocrity to be controversial. I think it fits me … I’m controversial with myself … Obviously, you do a collection and you think you’re the best; in the world, there’s no comparison. Then it doesn’t happen, and you need to re-settle a bit, come to terms with your reality. Obviously it doesn’t make you happy.

On what’s next: Lots and lots of vacation. No, what’s next is important. Again, I find myself with this amazing experience, and I want to use it for something that makes me feel that I’m part of this moment and era … I’m pretty sure that I have the energy and the knowledge at least to try to do something relevant.

Things You Shouldn't Say To...

People suffering from depression:

“Stop being so negative!”
“You choose to be sad”
“You don’t even have anything to be sad about”
“There are millions worse off than you, just get a grip!”

People struggling with self-harm:

“You’re just doing it for attention!”
“Those cuts aren’t even that bad”
“You don’t even have a reason to cut/burn yourself”
“You freak! Hide your scars, no one wants to see those disgusting things”

People that attempt suicide/are suicidal:

“You’re so sefish!”
“You don’t care about anyone but yourself”
“Don’t you realize what this would do to your Mum/Dad/Family/Friends. You need to think about other people and not just yourself”
“Just get over it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and just get on with life”

People suffering from Anorexia Nervosa:

“JUST EAT!”
“You’re just doing this to hurt others”
“There are children dying of starvation and you’re just choosing not to eat, that’s so selfish”
“If you don’t start eating you won’t —- (stay over at your friends this weekend, get your allowance, etc)

People suffering from Bulimia Nervosa:

“Ew! That is so gross!”
“Just stop eating too much!”
“I’ll take all your money off you so you can’t buy binge food”
“I’ll lock the bathroom door to stop you purging”

SURVIVORS of Rape, Sexual Abuse, Molestation and Incest:

“You probably asked for it/insinuated it/gave permission”
“You’re lying/I don’t believe you/(s)he wouldn’t do that”
“Just get over it already! It’s in the past!”
“That is so disgusting. Aren’t you ashamed? I wouldn’t tell anyone if I were you…”

Victims of Bullying

“Just stick it out. They’ll give up soon enough”
“Well maybe you’ve pushed them to it”
“Don’t stick up for yourself or tell anyone ‘cause it’ll make it worse”
“Who cares? They’re not even being that harsh… You’re lucky compared to some people!”

Victims of Domestic Abuse

“Maybe you did something to provoke them?”
“Just fight/argue back”
“Get out of there! You’re doing this to yourself the longer you stay there”
“A lot of people have it worse than you…”

Victims of emotional trauma/abuse

“Maybe you should just do as they ask, then they won’t get angry”
“Just ignore them”
“What they’re saying doesn’t matter. Stop letting it affect you”
“You’re just too sensitive”

People struggling with general/social anxiety

“You’re just socially awkward”
“Why would anyone be afraid of that?”
“If you don’t want to hang out with me anymore, just tell me straight! Don’t make up all this crap about being anxious”
“Just get over it!”

Most common ‘insult’ that is misunderstood:

“Attention-seeker” - Ever been called that?
When you’re struggling with any of those things above, or similar things and someone calls you an “attention seeker”, it can be like being stabbed in the stomach and feeling the knife twisting.

After years of people calling me an attention seeker, I will admit that just this week, I was called it and it hurt… But here’s the thing: We are ALL attention-seekers.
Attention is a human NEED. So why do people insist on making us feel guilty about that? Why do people insist on making it out to be a bad thing, that only selfish people seek? Each and every one of us seek, or at least long for, attention.

But when you’re struggling with depression, self-injury, an eating disorder, or any mental health illness, “attention seeker” seems to pop up again and again.
Why does this hurt those people more than it would hurt someone else, if we all seek attention? Because when you have a mental illness, there’s an underlying issue(s) that made it develop. It could be a whole bunch of contributing factors, or just one thing so huge, that they have to reach out for it, in any way they can, in order to survive.

I need you to just stop for a moment, and think about those times when you’ve needed attention. The times you’ve been angry and needed someone to rant to. The times you’ve been sad and needed someone to tell you it’ll all be okay. The times you’ve felt alone and desperately needed someone to spend time with you.
What if, in the very midst of those strong feelings, someone called you an “attention seeker” and told you to just get over it? What if you’d spent years upon years dealing with things on your own, and the moment you broke the silence and had the courage to speak out about your suffering, someone told you to “sit down and shut up, and stop seeking attention”. Can you just imagine what that would do?
Now imagine that happening to someone who has already been starved of love, doesn’t know acceptance, has never heard encouragement, never experienced trust, or is just in so much inner turmoil that they feel they need someone to listen and notice they’re struggling, and someone tells them to keep their mouth shut because no one cares.

I just want you to know that “attention seeker” needs to stop being an insult.
We ALL need attention: it’s just a basic human need, and right, that we receive it - in a positive way, of course.
I need you to realize that by using that as an insult, you’re stripping the already-vulnerable and hurting of their courage and strength to speak out and receive help. You’re pushing them into their silent suffering even further. Those two simple words could result in another scar on someone’s skin, another day without food, or another life lost.

Don’t ever, ever underestimate the power of your words.
Words are more powerful than any of us will ever be able to comprehend.
So today, I’m asking that you use your powerful words to spread love, encouragement and hope instead of encouraging self-hate.

This.

please EVERYONE read this.

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FAVORITE MOVIE.

Guh, I love this movie so much.

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New York, US: The unisphere is seen as the sun sets during day 12 of the 2011 US Open

Photograph: Mike Stobe/Getty

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